Coping with divorce in the early stages
- Coach Ricky
- Sep 10
- 2 min read
As a qualified divorce coach, I understand one thing very clearly: every divorce is different. Each person’s story is shaped by unique circumstances—different histories, personalities, and choices. And while I cannot speak for every situation, I can speak honestly about mine.
I’m a 42-year-old man, and I was married for nine years. I believed in our marriage. I believed that everything we had gone through—miscarriages, financial stress, emotional lows—had made us stronger. I thought that after all of it, we were solid. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that my wife had always been in love with someone else.
That truth didn’t hit me in one moment—it came slowly, painfully, through emotional distance, subtle changes, and finally, the entrance of another man into our lives. What followed was heartbreak, betrayal, and a level of emotional pain I never expected.
In my book, Surviving My Divorce – Part 1, I give a detailed account of the events leading up to our separation—from the excitement of our engagement to the final day of our marriage. Writing it helped me process the confusion I was buried under, and it now serves as a way for me to reach others who may be silently suffering through something similar.
Because divorce, at its core, is not just about paperwork or legal terms—it’s about grief.
It brings with it a wave of emotions that can feel paralyzing:
• Rejection that pierces deep into your sense of self
• Anger that can flare without warning
• Anxiety that weighs heavily on your chest
• Depression that makes even the smallest task feel impossible
• Insomnia that robs you of rest when you need it most
• And confusion—a constant, disorienting fog that leaves you asking, “How did this happen?”
I don’t share this to dramatize my story or to gain sympathy. I share it because these feelings are real, and maybe you’re feeling them too. Maybe no one around you understands, or maybe you haven’t found the words yet to describe what you’re going through.
For now, just breathe. Take a moment to be still. And try, if you can, to make sense of what has happened—without rushing past the pain.
I encourage you to download my book. In it, you’ll find not only a detailed account of my personal experience but also the emotions I lived through—raw, real, and unfiltered. You’ll see how I began to slowly make sense of it all, one step at a time.
This is not the post where I talk about healing or hope. That will come in time.
Right now, this is your truth: divorce is painful. The emotions you're feeling are real, and it’s something you need to face—right now, in this moment. But remember this: many have walked this path before you, and many will walk it after you. You are not alone. Ask for help. Pray when you need to. Speak to those who care about you. And visit spaces like this—places created to support you during this difficult chapter of your life.
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